Magnetize
by grathialiana
Summary: MIDO X TAKA. Set after high school. Midorima and Takao go to separate universities and play for different teams. How will their friendship prevail amidst the competition of their schools? No matter how great the distance is between them they will always find their way to each other. Rated M for later chapters. Please review!
1. Chapter 1

**Magnetize**

This is the first time I'll try a first person perspective in my story. I hope this is not too angsty for you. I have to get this out while I'm trying to write the next chapter of **Sinfully Yours**. I'm still trying to get past this block in my head. This one just has an easy plot. But hot damn, I am a wordy writer.

Hehe. Have you ever noticed that the two other Midotaka fanfics I wrote have single words as titles? Both verbs, too. **Linger** and **Ignite**. Yey, I'm so corny hehehe…

Thanks to those who keep on reading my stuff. You know who you are and you're UHH-mazing.

P.S. I did some half assed research on the schools the boys will be attending in college. I hope you don't laugh at my efforts in trying to make the setting as realistic as I can. I can only go by with what Wikipedia can give me. #lol.

EXOxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoEXO

The aftermath of Senior year.

We finally made it. We were graduating.

After three rambunctious years of high school, I was finally going to ditch my gakuran uniform in favor of cool civilian clothes. Proclaiming me to be an adult. I was going to start college in a Tokyo university, though, alas, it was not really my first choice.

I did not pass the entrance exam of my top university pick. The test was just so damn difficult even when I gave it everything in me to study for that stupid thing. In the end I still failed. So, beggars could not be choosers. And it was good enough that I passed my second pick, Tokyo Metropolitan University in Hachioji, Tokyo. It was a public university but was still considered a good school. I applied for half scholarship since I knew I would get drafted for the basketball team and thankfully they accepted me. Even though it was a public university and the tuition fee was generally inexpensive, there were still miscellaneous fees I had to take care of. I did not come from a destitute family, but I loved the fact that I was saving my parents a big burden of sending me to college, since most of the time I was sure I would spend in basketball anyway.

During the graduation ceremonies, I couldn't keep still in my seat. I bounced my knees from left to right, and so on and so forth.

This was it. This was totally it. I was going to be a cool adult like college guy. In a few weeks. I couldn't wait for April fast enough.

The principal on top of the stage giving the high school certificates paused on the mic and cleared his throat before calling the next student who would come up the stage.

"Midorima Shintarou."

I stopped fidgeting. My knees momentarily ceased their bouncing.

Truth be told, if there was anyone or anything else in the world hotter than my tall green eyed Miracle of a teammate, then it would have to be the _sun_ itself.

Midorima Shintarou was just about the most perfect specimen of a man that ever walked on this planet.

Yep. I had fallen so hard, so deep for that gigantic stoic eccentric guy with the funny grammar. Believe me, it wasn't a laughing matter. I was seriously heart broken.

Why, you ask? Well, because in the name of anything that was holy and righteous and breathing I was a guy. That stupidly hot classmate of mine, Shintarou – or Shin-chan – as I liked to call him, was also a guy.

And what did that mean?

Boo fucking hoo.

I didn't want to accept the truth at first. I thought, at fourteen, when I started to have these weird feelings, these unexplained longings whenever I looked at a guy's pale muscled thigh longer than was normal, I thought it was only admiration for bodily parts which looked better than mine. I had always been skinny growing up. But then I found that these weird attractions did not go away. Rather, when I started high school, they kind of – intensified.

It became harder to tear my eyes away off my male classmates, especially the good looking ones. Though I could tell no one noticed my weird behavior. I hid it well enough.

And it became especially hard for me to deny the truth any longer since Shin-chan joined Shutoku basketball team which I was also a part of. I knew I couldn't squeal like a duck, but it took everything in me to stop myself from doing so. I had had this huge, and I mean freaking huge – mancrush on Midorima Shintarou since I saw him play in one of their Teiko matches.

He was just –

Mere words couldn't even describe how limitless his talent in basketball was.

He was a shooter with almost perfect accuracy. He could defend well and shoot just about wherever he was inside the court (probably from even the bathroom) and the ball would not miss the basket.

When I first met the fucker, he literally looked down his nose upon me. Well, of course I was five nine to his six five, so I could imagine how much of a midget he thought I was.

And he was just massive. Big shoulders, long muscled arms, powerful legs that could jump a mile high, and his green hair... Okay, so maybe his green hair was kinda strange. But it did not destroy the picture of a perfect basketball player who knew how to work every part of his body to his advantage. It was an instaboner for me.

That first day I glimpsed Midorima in his training shorts, pushing his glasses up his nose, running towards where the coach wanted him to run, I swear all the blood my heart was pumping went to one direction: southward. I remember I had to bite my lip real hard until I could taste the coppery tang of blood just so I could focus on what I was doing that day. I was in the middle of a damn training myself.

After that it was just hell for me.

Plain and simple.

I guess it was that time I finally accepted that there was no going back. Sure I was physically attracted to boys, it even started when I was fourteen. But all those times I thought to myself: it shouldn't even matter. I would still go to a university and marry my neighbor Mimi-chan when we both graduated. That deal was almost set in stone as Mimi-chan and I were best friends since we were in diapers. We were practically engaged since birth. And it was even blessed by both our parents.

But no. All thoughts of a happy normal family disappeared from my head that day that green haired giant walked into the basketball club and signed up for the team.

Yeah he had always been my crush since junior high, but I never thought he would actually attend the same school I did! When before he was just a dream I secretly fantasized about now he was right there in front of me, a living breathing embodiment of a kind of wanting that would never ever go away.

So yeah, I accepted that I, Takao Kazunari, was gay. Finally. And being this much attracted to a guy, I didn't think I could pretend that well to like girls. I liked girls just fine. As friends. But sexually?

I didn't think I could ever get it up for one.

Sure, girls loved me. I was a girl magnet because I was such an easy going guy, and I loved making jokes. They sure felt comfortable with me. I dated, yeah. But nothing ever led to sex. It never even entered my mind to use heterosexual sex as an excuse to alleviate the strong urges I felt.

But looking at Midorima –

There were times when it became too painful for me to watch him in our training that I would sometimes make hasty escapes to the boys' room to quietly take care of my hard on. I would sit on the toilet and bite down hard on the fabric of my shirt so I wouldn't make any noise while I pumped the orgasm out of my erection.

No other boy had ever had that kind of effect on me.

We started the regular drills and I found myself being in the same group as Midorima was almost all of the time. We barely talked, or rather, he barely talked to me, even when I would try to draw him into conversations. Midorima would merely grunt at me as he was completely focused in all the drills we were doing.

Even outside training, I found that Midorima was a quiet reserved giant who only talked if he was giving instructions to his teammates within the game. And that sucked big time. I was naturally a talkative and easygoing guy, and had befriended most of my teammates in the basketball club, except him.

He began talking to me when we stayed late for extra practice. There was no one more hardworking in our team than Midorima, considering that anyone could call him the most talented as it was. It never got into his head, how good he was. He just kept on training and training, working and working hard as if he could never be satisfied with his talent if he knew he wasn't bleeding enough on the floor slaving his ass off improving it.

That was just how he thought. He lived by the club's strict rules, and he even had more frigid ones for himself.

But when I began staying with him during the extra practices, training even harder than some of the guys, I felt his respect for me growing. Fine. Of course the main reason I stayed late was because of him, but my secondary goal was also to become better. I didn't want to eat the dust Midorima left on the court, and my other teammates' for that matter.

Gradually Midorima opened up and began sitting with me during practice. He began doing drills with me, until it became almost natural for us to be partners whenever we could do free plays.

I guess it was sort of an anticlimactic ending for my unrequited passions for that idiot. I mean, not that I was planning to confess or anything, but because it was Midorima… Because he was the kind of person whose trust wouldn't easily be won, and the fact that he treated me as a friend, they were enough reasons for me to stamp down my feelings and act like a true – normal, straight friend to him. Heck we even had buddy studying sessions in his room before exams.

I told myself that I couldn't make the mistake of letting Midorima – or Shin-chan – have any inkling of my wanton lust for him. He trusted me. We were friends. And I guess it was better than him hating me for being a fag.

Good thing for me my neighbor Mimi-chan seemed to have moved on too. I knew she started seeing a boy from her class.

And as for me, being Shin-chan's friend was enough.

I teased him for being so big, trying to sound as if that should make him feel awkward, and that he looked geeky with his thick rimmed glasses.

I always thought he should just ditch the glasses and go for contacts. And then one day, he actually did! I remembered he came to school looking odd and he always kept his face down. Then I noticed he wasn't wearing his glasses but colorless contacts.

"Shin-chan!" I remembered exclaiming. "Your eyes are sooo – sooo green."

He snapped at me, you know, that way when he was trying so hard to look mad at me but all he could do was just look more helpless because his face was so exposed. He was too adorable for words. Even when he was spitting mad at me.

I chuckled and yelled to our other male class mates. "Hey, guys! Shin-chan lost his glasses! I think he looks better without them!"

"Shut up, Takao," he snarled, hiding his face. He was really terribly shy and I wanted to make fun of him even more. Some of our boy classmates crowded around Shin-chan, teasing him and looking as surprised as I was how startlingly clear his emerald eyes looked without the hazy lenses of his glasses.

I knew Shin-chan was uncomfortable with the attention; he never really did well with people noticing him aside from playing basketball. I didn't know if it was just the bully in me or the fact that I wanted to see the play of emotions cross Shin-chan's face whenever he was at his most vulnerable.

He was a giant at six five, but no one would look more gentle, or precious to me.

The boys and I were having a good laugh teasing Midorima's somewhat girly face without his glasses on, but then some of our girl classmates also came over and began cooing over him, pawing him as if it was the first time they had ever seen a good looking guy before.

All at once a deep resentment came over me.

There I was starting the commotion but when the girls began eyeing him with interest I was the first one to give in to my petty jealousy. "Hey," I said to them cooly. "Let the guy breathe, would you?"

And by the end of class I made sure to accompany Shin-chan first thing to his ophthalmologist to have his glasses replaced.

Three years.

Three years of barely making it without completely losing my head over Midorima.

And now it was graduation.

Of course he would go to University of Tokyo in Bunkyo. Being a smart ass himself, no one ever doubted he could get into the most prestigious university in the whole of Japan. He never admitted to me, but I heard from the grapevine that he didn't even have to apply for a scholarship. He was immediately drafted by the basketball team with a full scholarship. Plus stipend. The school was going to give him a bloody allowance.

He really was an amazing guy.

I watched, heart in my throat, proudly, as my best friend and teammate walked up the stage for his certificate. He looked very handsome in his uniform.

I forgot the rest of the ceremony. I was staring at the top of Shin-chan's head most of the time. Being so tall, he towered everyone else even in their seats.

Our parents came to support us and share our achievements. But they went home earlier so that we could celebrate on our own.

Shin-chan and the rest of our classmates, our close friends and basketball teammates, went to sing at the nearest karaoke and got stuffed with all the junk food that we could eat. It was really fun. Some of my class mates would go to the universities of their choice, while others would stop schooling for a while and get part time jobs first.

It was really the end of high school.

That early March, one afternoon, Shin-chan and I trudged home slowly. There was a big grin on my face. Yeah, I knew we wouldn't go to the same school and of course I felt sad about it, yet I did try my best to get into the University of Tokyo. It just wasn't meant for me. But I couldn't help but feel excited that I was starting college next month. It was still something surreal for me.

We were both quiet on the walk home. I supposed he was excited in his own way, too.

Then Shin-chan spoke. "Fifty one minutes," he said softly.

I looked up. "Huh?"

"I read in Google map that it takes fifty one minutes to get from Bunkyo to Hachioji."

I stared at him, stupidly. "Hachioji?"

Shin-chan stared back at me. "Your school, stupid. It's in Hachioji, Tokyo, right?"

"Oh. Aaaahh – sorry, I'm still not that familiar with the place and everything. But yeah – really? Fifty one minutes? Okay."

He pushed the glasses up his nose and looked ahead of him as he walked. "Don't be a stranger, Takao."

I scratched my head, nodding. "Umm, yeah. I guess. If I need to copy your notes like I always did I'll surely come right over."

Wow, that was really a lovely thought. To think that Shin-chan would be kind enough to remind me we were still friends no matter the distance between us, it tugged at my heart strings.

Why wasn't I born a freaking girl? At that moment I didn't even care if I was born with the ugliest face, as long as I was a female who could confess her heart out to someone like Shin-chan.

I put my hands inside my pockets, hoping that my will was strong enough to stop me from what I wanted to do. I didn't think Shin-chan would find it amusing to be pulled down for a sloppy kiss in the middle of the streets.

We passed by his house first. He tilted his head towards me to say his goodbye and then he opened the gate of his house.

Before he could go inside completely I asked, "When are you moving to Bunkyo?"

"My father is hiring some movers. Maybe next week nanodayo."

"Ah, okay."

"I'll see you," Midorima said and finally went into their house.

Leaving me alone on the street watching him as he disappeared inside the door. It was the last time we would ever walk home together.

Next month we would be in different schools, play for different teams.

And Heaven forbid that we would actually face each other during the intercollegiate matches.

I shuddered, a bitter taste in my mouth.

But it couldn't be helped. It just couldn't. Our lives were moving forward and there was nothing left to do but to go with the flow.

Xxxxx

Okay. Maybe next chapter will be the last one. I just want to make this story short and sweet while I get my act together for Sinfully Yours.

So yeah. Hope you'll like this story.


	2. Chapter 2

**Magnetize **

I'm not sure if this will be the last chapter. I still have a lot going on in my head.

EXOxoxoxoxoxoxooxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoEXO

TMU.

Short for Tokyo Metropolitan University. Here I was, on my first day of school. It was the fifth of April and high school seemed to be a thousand years away.

As I stood at the entrance of the Minami-Osawa campus, I couldn't contain my excitement. I was practically dizzy with it. My five minute walk from the station did not dampen my enthusiasm as I was almost skipping down the street.

I stood there, just looking around, feeling the soft breeze on my face, while students of all shapes, sizes and ages milled around me. The buzzing noise of their chatter overwhelmed me, but in a good way. I was soaking in happiness every minute that I stood there. The campus grounds were filled with greeneries. It was the perfect combination of an urban scenic haven for environment lovers like me!

To say that I loved the grandeur and vastness of the campus was the understatement of the year.

Releasing a heavy breath, I began walking forward.

My first stop was the Information gallery where I could check the schedules of my classes. There were clusters of students, all freshmen like me, I bet, who were looking at the gigantic bulletin boards posted there. I patiently waited until there was enough room for me to squeeze in and checked the board for my basic classes. I consulted my college form. Yep, everything looked good and had the correct schedule on it.

Alrighty! I went to my first class for the day.

Xxx

Since it was the first day of class, we only had two classes that lasted until after lunch time. After quickly eating a bento in the nearby cafeteria, I walked to the student dorms. I still had not completely unpacked. I went in the small room, sitting on my bed. There was another bed on the far edge of the room. It was for my roommate Gorou, another freshman like me. We had met the previous days past, had chatted a little while we unpacked our things. He seemed to be a nice likable guy. But please, don't get me wrong. Just because I was gay didn't mean I would get an erection for the guy I was sharing my room with.

I never felt any attraction towards Gorou. He was a short skinny kid who was desperately in need of a growth spurt. I mean, he was even tinier than Kuroko, that little mousy blue haired Shadow of Seirin high. Gorou was only probably five four in height, a sprinkle of freckles dotting his whole face. I hoped he was not the type of kid who suffered from suicidal tendencies because of getting bullied in his youth.

Hmm, so far he sounded normal. And as excited as I was to be starting college.

So anyway, I began putting my clothes in my drawers, getting them from inside my luggage bags. I spent an hour or so sorting through my stuff until Gorou came in and greeted me politely. He also began arranging his things. Being the talkative guy that I was, I engaged him in a small friendly talk, which he returned happily. He was naturally a quiet guy but his disposition was cheerful so everytime he opened his mouth he was smiling. In a sense, I was thankful he was my roommate. Honestly I think I would have a harder time hiding my weird habits if I ended up being holed up with an attractive guy. If I lost it and jumped my roommate because seriously, I was eighteen years old, gay and a virgin, I didn't think anyone would cut me some slack. I didn't want to stay in my room feeling uncomfortable all the time. So it was a good thing Gorou was harmless.

Yeah, if you ask me, this sexual abstinence I had been imposing on myself since I learned I swung for the other "team" was beginning to take its toll upon me. But hey, what could I do? I couldn't just approach a guy back in my high school to have sexual experiments with him. A lot of people knew me from being the point guard of Shuutoku. It was as if I could flaunt my sexual preference at that time.

Part of it was the fear, of course. I didn't want people to judge me. I didn't want to lose face in my team. I think those were very valid reasons why I was still a virgin, a "cock virgin" until now. And like I said, I had never tried heterosexual sex. It seemed too much trouble for all its worth.

Anyway, back to Gorou. The kid seemed kind. It was a good thing he was my roommate.

Xxx

After three days I was finally called by the coach to start training for the basketball club. Being used to all the hard work, I didn't seem daunted by the rigorous practice sessions. I was pretty confident of my skills. And I think some of them became even impressed with my Hawk's Eye ability. The coach even singled me out in one of our team meetings and said he expected to utilize my talent to the fullest capacity.

Wow.

Okay. It felt pretty good. To know that the coach recognized talent, no matter how new you were to the team. I also saw some of the guys nod their head at me respectfully. For a freshmen like me, getting my senpai's approval meant more than everything else.

My career was safe. I was still going to be a basketball player until I finished college. I still wasn't sure if I wanted to pursue a career in this sport after school, like maybe play for the FIBA World Cup or the Olympics. But I knew I was happy playing basketball. If it had to end because sometime in my future I had to wake up and get a real adult job in a corporate world, and I had to remove my jersey uniform for good, I think I could handle it. I was a very practical person. I played basketball because it made me happy and because it was possible for me to do so. If time came that I couldn't play anymore, I was sure I'd be fine with it.

So I needed to enjoy it while it lasted.

Xxx

After two weeks of my repeated routine, going to classes in the morning until four pm, then heading straight to the gym for basketball practice, I felt the first signs of exhaustion. That night I crashed on my bed, sweaty basketball jersey and all, groaning low against my pillow. Gorou was seated on his study table. He eyed me for a second, nodded in greeting and went back to studying.

At times like this, I missed having someone who loved basketball as passionately as I did. I wanted to bitch around, complain and whine that my body was one sore spot. But what could I do? Gorou and I had nothing in common. The kid probably had not done any jogging since his last PE class in second year high school.

Yeah, at a time like this, I fucking missed my best bud Midorima.

Actually, in the past two weeks, I knew I had been missing him so much, but then I didn't want to sound like the complete desperate besotted fool who couldn't be apart from him for a few weeks without sobbing my heart out. We did exchange two text messages in the span of those two weeks. One was asking how the other was doing and the other one was to just say "Gambatte kudasai" to each other. And I could proudly tell you that he was the one who texted first.

But now.

I reached for my cellphone from my bag, flipped it open and browsed through all my contacts. When I got to Shin-chan's name, my thumb hovered above the Call button. Should I call him? Well, yeah, nowhere it said in the Rules of the Universe for Normal Straight People that I couldn't call my best guy friend to bitch about my current life. It wasn't like I would cry and ask him to pat my head because I was missing him so much.

But, should I? Would it do me any good?

I glanced at Gorou. I didn't know if I would look casual or pathetic over the phone upon hearing Shin-chan's voice that Gorou would start suspecting I tended to have this ridiculously soft expression on my face whenever I talked to the perennial love of my life.

Naaah. I couldn't make the call there, while Gorou could hear me. I needed privacy.

Dragging my feet to the floor, I locked myself up inside our small shared bathroom. I pushed the toilet cover down and sat on top, finally pushing the call button. I was chanting inside my head, Please go to voicemail. Please go to voicemail. Please go to voicemail.

Then I would just leave a short friendly message and hopefully it would be Midorima who'd call me back. I was on the fifth ring and I was waiting for the voicemail to kick in when suddenly the line was picked up and a gruff "Moshi moshi" cut into my ear.

Was there ever a time in the world that Shin-chan didn't sound angry about something?

"Hey!" I squeaked lamely.

There was a pregnant pause on the other line. I figured Shin-chan must _not_ have looked at his caller ID that was why he snapped at me. He was probably looking at it now.

"Takao," he breathed, more softly this time.

"Hey, bud, how's it going?"

"I'm uhhh – at the library."

I dropped my head on my other hand. Library meant he was spending his time studying. Which meant it was not a good time to disturb him. "Oh, okay. That's cool. I'll um… probably catch you some time later, huh?"

"Why are you calling?" he asked in a monotone.

Geeze, here it was. I really didn't know myself. "Nothing, just wanted to check how you're doing. How's practice in Todai?" I was referring to the abbreviation of Tokyo University or Tokyo daigaku, hence Todai.

I could imagine him doing his mannerism of pushing his glasses up his nose as he answered me, "Everything is well. We don't have practice every day."

"Aahh… Well, yes, I mean you're taking up Medicine, dude. Your major is not a joke so you should still take some time to rest and study."

I pictured him shrugging. "I think so, too."

After that I didn't know what to say next. We just exchanged sounds of breathing for ten seconds or so and I had never felt more awkward in my entire life.

"Takao – "

"Hey, Shin-chan –"

"What?" he asked.

"No no no… You go ahead."

Shit. I was always the easy talker between the two of us. And now I could not even form a straight sentence.

Shin-chan said, "Is something wrong?"

I sat ramrod straight on the toilet, rubbing my sweaty palm on the smooth fabric of my jersey shorts. "No! Uhhh – it's nothing. It's just that I – " I let out a heavy sigh. Maybe I could be honest without giving away my feelings too much. We were good friends, after all. "It's really nothing, dude. It's just that, it's not the same, you know? Here. With the other guys. I mean, everyone's cool, they're a bunch of good people. But it's not really – the same. With you and the guys back in Shuutoku. I – I kinda miss you, man."

There.

I finally said it.

But I managed to say it with the "straightest" voice that I could muster. Like one guy telling another guy. Straight guys. Maybe like brothers.

He did pause. I didn't hear anything from his line for about five seconds' tops. I looked at my screen to check if the line was still on. Yes, it was.

He cleared his throat on the other end. "New environment really takes a while getting used to."

I nodded, half disappointed at his answer and half relieved. What? As if I was expecting him to say he missed me back! But at least he didn't seem all too surprised about my stupid remark. "Yeah, dude, I know. So – uhhh – I gotta go. I just wanted to check on you a little. It's good to hear from you, bud. You take care, Shin-chan, okay?"

"Yes. You,too."

"Aye aye. So. Ja ne."

"See you."

And that was the end of our terribly awkward conversation.

I propped my elbow on my thigh and leaned my forehead on my fist, suddenly feeling pathetic. Did I sound too gay? Did I?

I sure hoped I didn't sound like a needy female heroine in one of those soap dramas my mom loved to watch. Coz that would really be the day for me! Ugh.

Xxx

I tried to remove the thoughts of that stupid phone call to Shin-chan from my head the next day. Every time I started thinking about it I began despising myself. I made a vow that I would never ever ever call Shin-chan again if I was feeling down. My vulnerability clearly showed and in the future I might blurt out some more stupid things that I would regret.

I went to basketball practice as usual, trying to forget the fatigue eating at me. Hey, I was not the only one. I could imagine that the kind of training we had was also difficult for everybody else. The last time TMU won the championship trophy in the collegiate matches was six years ago, so the schools was putting pressure on the club to do well this year. Hence, the back breaking training sessions.

I could admit that the guys in my club were okay. Not as okay as in Shuutoku, but they were cool. I could tell a lot of them really admired my talents, though of course petty jealousies couldn't be helped. I could sense it from a couple of guys or three. Since they were more senior than me, and it looked like I would be getting a longer time on the court than them, it was not hard to imagine that some of the third years and fourth years were wary around me.

But like I said. It was all good. No one acted like a dick head so it didn't matter.

We showered after practice and as a group left the gym, carrying all our heavy gym bags.

Everyone was engaged in small chats and I was piping up with my comment or two, when suddenly one member, Hideki, our power forward, whistled low and pointed. "Whoa, look at that! That guy is in a Todai uniform!"

I twisted my head to look. As did the rest of the group.

My eyes nearly fell off their sockets. Standing there in all his stoic glory, with his hands in his pocket, his back ramrod straight, was the green eyed love of my life, complete with his own gym bag, clad in full regalia of his Todai basketball jacket and sweat pants.

I stopped on my tracks, my breath freezing in my chest. It was him! It was really Shin-chan, standing a few feet away from our gym.

I forgot about my teammates. Smiling like a moron, I ran towards him. "Hey, Shin-chan! Shin-chan!"

Slowly, those green eyes turned towards me. Damn, I missed those eyes. They were the loveliest in color. His face as usual was emotionless. He didn't look ecstatic as I was, but he was calm enough for me to note that this was a moment that he was most comfortable in.

I tried to catch my breath as I stopped in front of him. "Hey, man. What brought you here?"

The "mannerism" again. "Our practice ended early because our coach had to go to an emergency faculty meeting. My homework's done and I had time to kill so…"

"Uhh, okay…" I replied, biting my lower lip to keep myself from smiling even wider. Damn, couldn't I have been more transparent than this?

Shin-chan shrugged. "I'm hungry."

"Yeah, sure. Let's go to the Mnami-Osawa station. There's a mall there. It's only five minutes from here."

"Okay."

A loud clearing of throat disrupted us. I winced. I totally forgot my whole team standing behind us. I looked back and found the lot of them frowning at Midorima. "Hey, guys, this is Midorima. He's my high school buddy. Midorima, the guys. Say hi!"

Midorima simply stared at the group of thirteen boys watching us.

"I didn't know you were chummy with Todai," said Kaito, our big center, only taller than Shin-chan by one inch. He said it cooly, friendly even but I could detect a hint of sarcasm.

"This guy has been my best bud since high school, dude, " I shot back, as friendly as I could, too.

"He's one of the Generation of Miracles, right?" another boy asked.

I grinned at the one who spoke, Nobu, another point guard like me, though he wasn't in the starting lineup. "Wow. You know them?"

Nobu grinned back. "Been a fan since junior high. I always thought to ask you about him but I kept on forgetting."

This time I chuckled whole heartedly. "Well, yeah, given the hellish sessions we go through I wouldn't be surprised if we would forget to breathe sometimes."

A few guys snickered at my joke. But the others still looked cautiously at Midorima, who seemed unaffected by their perusal. He stood, as indifferent as he could be, not showing any sign of reaction towards the TMU basketball team.

I straightened, having enough of the staring contest, and waved a hand to my teammates. "See you tomorrow at practice. We'll be going now. Let's go, man," I told the quiet green haired giant and we fell into steps beside each other.

As we passed by the school grounds I sort of gave him a tour of TMU. I had just been there for a couple of weeks but I felt familiar with the place. Shin-chan merely nodded as I gave out descriptions of the university, directions to the classrooms and cafeteria etc. He quietly listened as I rattled off. I felt happier than I ever was since I came here, happier even than when I went to my first day of training in basketball. Something about Shin-chan's presence, the peace and quiet he exuded whenever he listened to my babbles, everything about him soothed me, comforted me.

And I think in a way, since he was so used to me talking all the time, he was also becoming more comfortable with the sounds my voice created, especially since he was in unfamiliar territory.

I loved him.

I faced the reality of it head on. And sometimes it hurt too much to be walking beside him when I couldn't even show him how I felt.

Uhmm… provided he didn't punch me first.

But yeah, I, Takao Kazunari, the unfortunate gay half of our once almost unbeatable duo in Shuutoku, was head over heels in love with the densest most eccentric guy who ever held a basketball ball.

Maybe one day I would be able to tell him. One day. When I was prepared enough to let him go completely.

Xxx

Sorry. I think this'll take longer. Hehe. I'm enjoying writing this so far.


	3. Chapter 3

**Magnetize**

I finally finished another chapter while I raped the replay button on Kim Hyun Joong's **"Your Story."** I swear that song is just plain asadflksdfjksajjk EPIC. I so love it, I listened to it the whole day and night. So thanks to it, I'm able to update, hehehe. Thanks for reviewing, guys. Thank you for appreciating my efforts. Saranghe!

P.S. I don't actually know how they open their college games so I just made something up.

EXOEXOXEXOEXOXEXOEXOEXOEXO

The Intercollegiate basketball tournament officially started mid-May. Around thirty or so universities in several prefectures in Tokyo were included.

I remember having jitters at the opening ceremonies. It was actually surreal. There had been a short parade that made all the teams walk a few blocks on the road until we got to the stadium in Todai where the opening would be held.

As I walked with my fellow teammates, wearing the dark blue jersey uniform of our team, I couldn't help but feel like I was floating. Wow, I was playing in college basketball! Scouts were all over the place. Japan National team was not as prestigious as other teams from other countries where this game was more popular, like China or USA, but to play for a professional league was every rookie's dream. I was one of them.

As all the teams lined up on the vast floor of the stadium, each group wearing its proud colors, I couldn't stop the giddiness to bubble forth. There were a lot of people wearing different colors it was crazy! It felt like I was in a mini NBA opening ceremony!

When all the teams formed neat lines beside each other, we stood, waiting for the Sports chairman to start his speech and formally open the tournament. Suddenly drums rolled thunderously and the boisterous boys around me began yelling in glee. Some made screeching catcalls towards the stage.

I tiptoed to see what was going on stage. Damn all these brutes who were all taller than me! Was I the shortest guy here? Being five nine just sucked if you were in a world of giants!

I winced when I found what the commotion was about.

Yeah right. Cute and sexy female cheerleaders from various universities, each wearing their school skimpy uniform were doing formations on the stage. Apparently, those girls prepared a number for all of the players, a joint routine from cheerleaders coming from different universities. I laughed to myself, then looked around at the crazy faces of the boys around me who were so enamored with the show. Damn. Even if I was gay and wasn't particularly interested at those pale shapely legs flashing up before my eyes, I couldn't help but feel happy. Everyone seemed so excited!

I found myself watching the girls' fascinating routines and dances with honest interest. Beauty was beauty and those girls sure knew how to get their audience hooked on their curvy bodies gyrating in perfect synchrony with one another's.

One of my teammates punched me lightly on the arm, laughed at me, drool almost coming out. It looked like he was really really enjoying the show. I slapped the back of his head and pretended to be as smitten as him as I turned back to the stage to watch the cheerleaders.

After a while it became a bit old.

I couldn't keep still. I wish the program would already commence so that the first game would start. Today Todai had a game with a different university. For the second game, two other schools would battle it out. Our school's game would start in a couple of days.

Speaking of… Amidst the deafening roar of the cheerleading music and the never ending whistling and cheers from the boys, I found myself getting distracted.

I looked around, my eyes trying to find the person I had been longing to see these past few days.

Where the heck was Todai's team? I began to back away a little from my own cluster and looked past the gigantic young men surrounding me.

There! I found Todai's team! They were a few feet away from me. My eyes automatically scanned for green hair and grumpy face. Because we had been busy lately, Shin-chan and I had never really had the chance to talk over the phone or even text each other. Yeah, it was sad. And I missed him like crazy. The last time he visited me in TMU a few weeks ago seemed like a lifetime away. We only stayed together and ate out in McDonald's for an hour because he had to get back and review for an exam the next day.

He had said it in an offhanded way, as if it was no big deal, but he didn't know how touched I was at that time I almost broke down and confessed to him. He was super busy but he still took a few hours off just to visit his best friend. How could someone in their right mind _**not**_ love someone like him?

I felt my knees go weak as my eyes finally landed on his blessedly beautiful figure. Never mind those unbelievably gorgeous ladies flaunting their assets on stage. Right now I could only gaze at the perfection that was Shin-chan.

I chuckled softly to myself as I watched my tall awkward best friend. He looked extremely bored as he watched the stage. I was pretty sure his eyes were fixed on the gigantic gold trophy that was displayed there.

I continued watching him, a soft smile on my face. I probably looked like an idiot there who was the only one looking the other way rather than at the stage.

Suddenly green eyes flashed in my direction.

I was startled. Shin-chan just looked straight at me. Did he even know I was watching him!?

Weakly I waved. Stiffly, he nodded, pushing his glasses up his nose. Then he tilted his head towards the stage, silently telling me to watch the show and not him. I rolled my eyes and made a wacky face towards him then turned back towards the girls doing their gymnastic moves.

After a few seconds I glanced back at him. Discreetly.

And the funny thing was, he turned towards me again.

I shrugged in exaggeration this time tilting my head, letting him know he should also watch the cheerleading.

Shin-chan, at this distance, looked like he was pouting a little. We both turned back to the stage to watch the most boring show on earth.

Of course I would look at him again. There was no denying it. This time I found him bowed low, seriously looking downwards. Because of the clusters of body around us, I didn't know what he was doing.

I sighed. He was busy with something, sure.

Then I felt a buzz inside my varsity jacket's pocket. I frowned, taking out my mobile. Upon seeing the name of the one who sent me a message, a big wide dorky smile appeared on my face.

Shin-chan texted,_"I get dizzy with all these movements. I hope they stop soon."_

With trembling fingers I began typing, _"Man, what's wrong with you? Those are seriously some hot chicks flashing their panties at us. You should be thankful, idiot."_

I smiled smugly. When I turned to Shin-chan he was bowed low again, most likely reading my message. I felt my phone vibrate again. I was still looking at him.

Shin-chan looked at me, his face expressionless, but I knew he was amused. Don't ask me how I knew, I just did.

I read his message. "_If I only wanted panties, I should have bought one from the store, baka."_

I grinned, typing back, _"Good point."_

Soon we were texting back and forth, almost ignoring the cheerleading dances happening on stage. Dear Heavens, I loved my best friend with all my heart. He just knew how to cheer me up without even meaning to.

How soon?

How soon until I hopelessly irrevocably fell that I would not be able to get up?

All this time the only thing I was afraid of would be to see the look of disgust in his eyes when he knew the truth.

"_Do your best in your game." _I sent my message.

"_OK."_

"_I'll cheer for your team today."_

"_No need. We'll win anyway."_

I snorted as I texted back. _"Arrogant ass."_

"_I'll see you at the Finals, Takao. Make sure you get there."_

I stared at my phone, then back up at him, taking in the cool countenance, the bored attitude. The haughty overconfident moron thought the universe would tilt on its axis at the snap of his fingers.

He looked at me.

Our gazes held. I could see the fierce determination in his eyes, even though his face remained aloof.

I texted him. _"Oh, yeah. I will definitely see you, there."_

He replied. _"Buy me bubble tea after the game."_

"_Why?"_

"_After we win, buy me bubble tea. Your treat."_

I breathed hard. Deep. Whenever Shin-chan acted spoiled like this my resolve to keep my opinions to myself weakened. Right now, all I wanted was to rush where he was and put my arms around him, all consequences be damned.

I texted him back. _"Whatever, you pompous ass."_

He didn't reply. And finally, thankfully, the cheerleading dance ended.

The program passed by in a blur. Even as we went to the basketball court to watch the games, my mind felt like elsewhere.

Of course Todai won in their game. And even though Shin-chan was just a freshman, it looked like his team was doing its best to pass him the ball every chance they got.

And my amazingly perfect best friend just delivered. He simply did what he was meant to do.

As Shin-chan waited outside the stadium for me, I tried to control my wildly beating heart.

He was looking down at me, half irritated, half bored. "Bubble tea," he demanded.

I scratched the back of my head and rolled my eyes at him. "Yeah yeah, you big baby."

He pushed the glasses up his nose. "I want extra pearls."

I smiled softly, walking beside him. He was really adorable when he was being selfish like this.

I hoped he wouldn't hate me too much if he found out my deepest secret.

EXOEXOEXOEXOEXOEXOEXO

I know. Just full of nothing.

Hehe.

Sorry. I'm really sleepy and the angsty parts would start next chapter.

To my lovely readers, thank you for your support!


	4. Chapter 4

**Magnetize**

Thank you everyone for reading! XOXO!

Currently listening to: _**Unmei No Hito**_ by Fujita Maiko.

The saddest love song I've ever heard. Perfect for this angsty chapter…

EXOEXOEXOEXOEXOEXOEXOEXO

I sat heaving on the bench inside our changing room. It was after a game well played. Everyone in the TMU basketball team looked tired and was stinking with sweat.

But everyone was happy. We had just won our fifth game in the past three weeks. Five straight wins. We were on a roll.

Our captain, Kido, slapped the back of my shoulder, giving me a thumbs up sign. I was happy with how I had been performing in all those five games. I averaged fifteen points and twenty assists. Pretty impressive even for my standards. But of course I ain't complaining. All this time all I could think of were ways on how to wipe off that haughty smirk off Shin-chan's face once my team beat his. Hah! I would make sure I would have it recorded for posterity.

"You were a beast out there, Rook!" third year Hideki exclaimed, proudly beaming at me. Some of the other guys liked calling me Rook, or short for Rookie. I thought it was a cool name and I was glad it stuck. When I was in high school, I had a longer moniker, which was "The-Guy-with-Hawk's-Eye." It was also a sweet name but I liked Rook better. Besides, my teammates would always tell me that with how good I was playing these days, it wouldn't be a wonder if I got the Rookie of the Year title.

Once, Nobu, another reserved point guard, pointed out that nope, it would probably be Midorima who would bag that crown.

Without battling an eyelash I answered them, "Naaah. He should get MVP."

After that they all looked at me as if I had sprouted three heads. And it even became awkward as time went on. Maybe my flippant comment about Shin-chan being crowned MVP insulted the other veteran guys from the team, the ones from _my own_ team. It was apparent to them that I idolized Midorima that much and that I may compromise our game should we ever battle with Todai during the semis.

Anyway, I didn't dwell on the fact that some of my senior teammates would make crude jokes about bromance being too strange for athletes. Especially those athletes who were supposed to be competing with each other.

Okay, fine. Sure I was biased.

Of course for me there was no one else who was a better player than Shin-chan. I mean, I actually played with the guy for three years. If my teammates had the chance to do so themselves, they would know that Shin-chan had a solid spot in the candidacy for being MVP. The guy worked like an ox during training. Shin-chan was already an amazing athlete but he still trained the hardest amongst any other player I knew.

In the end, I just decided to ignore the "bromance" jokes that popped up time and again. And with the kind of performance I gave each game eventually they shut up with the teasing.

So anyway, here Hideki was, praising me again for a game well done. I simply nodded to him. He was one of the guys I was close to. "Thanks, man."

Nobu piped up, "This calls for a celebration. It's kinda early. Let's have Okonomiyaki!"

He was answered by a loud chorus of YEAH BOY!

I cringed a little. "Uhhh – you go on ahead. I – I need to do something."

They all frowned at me. Some even looked suspiciously at my confused expression. Nobu snapped at me, "This is the third time you're bailing out on us, Rook. What's up with you?"

I scratched the top of my head, unsure of what to say. They would most likely blow things out of proportion if I told them. "Uh - I just – uh – "

Kaito, our obnoxious center, smirked lasciviously, crossing his arms. "Uh huh, dude. Let me guess – no wait, everyone can confirm this. Todai is playing this afternoon. I pretty much have an idea where you're going."

I shot him an annoyed look, my upper lip curling in disgust.

Some of the other boys groaned, shooting me anxious glances. I was like, why? What the fuck was wrong with watching my friend's game? In fact I was already thirty minutes late and it would take another twenty to get there by train so by the time I got to the game's venue I would have missed two solid quarters.

Captain Kido frowned at me. "Takao, we just won our fifth match. We're going out to celebrate. You've never missed a Todai game since the tournament started. What's one game?"

I wanted to lose my temper and tell them it was none of their business if I wanted to see Shin-chan or not. But it would definitely look weird. Any weirder I got and people would think I was really a giggly fan boy of Midorima. Well, I sort of was, minus the giggling part of course.

But I wanted to watch his game. I missed him when I couldn't see him. And I only got to really spend time with him after his game or after my own game. Which was like, once or twice a week. I couldn't let this chance pass. Tomorrow and the day after both of us would be drowning with more trainings than we both could handle.

I had to see him today.

I shook my head. "Sorry, Cap. We're supposed to do something else after his game."

Kaito snorted loudly, "What? Like date?"

This time I glared furiously at him, raising my fists instinctively as if starting a fight. Kaito simply smirked and gave me a come-give-your-best-shot expression.

Captain Kido growled at Kaito. "Will you stop being an ass, Kaito?"

Suddenly Kaito walked towards me. I thought he would hurl a punch or whatever and I stiffened, raising my arms to my face but he simply glared down at me. "Look, Rookie, we may not agree on a few things and that's fine. I got my opinion and you got yours. But as a teammate, you are being unfair to us. You're displaying more loyalty to that Midorima than you ever did to any of us. You think he's supposed to get MVP? Are you really stupid that you didn't think that little comment of yours could upset us?"

My angry expression softened. "Look, man I didn't mean anything by it."

Kaito's nostrils flared. "But still. You're unusually attached to that guy. What would you think his teammates would think that you almost follow him around like a lap dog? You should be with us more, your own team. He's from Todai. They're our rival. And I'm sure they think the same of us."

"I'm just watching his game. Why would it have any other meaning?" I retorted.

Kaito shook his head. "All I'm saying is – you are unusually attached to him. Most of us here have our best friends playing for other universities but we don't go out of our way to watch each of their games. Can't you – can't you see how – how – "

Oh I was sure the word "queer" was easily at the tip of his tongue.

"Takao, you're playing for TMU now. This is not Shutoku anymore. You're no longer teammates. You live far from him. Your school is far from his. Why are you still this – this devoted?" Kaito asked, though a little more gently this time.

I noticed everyone in the room was waiting for me to answer. I wiped my sweaty face with my towel. Damn all of them. This was supposed to be a joyous day for me. I had been thinking of bragging to Shin-chan how we won for five straight times now.

I shook my head. "Look, you're going out, right? Don't mind me. Whether it's unusual or not, I'm watching and that's that. You can draw whatever conclusion you want. I don't care."

I turned my back to them and tore off my sweaty shirt. There wasn't any sound made behind me as I also removed my jersey shorts, leaving me naked save for my trunks. I wiped my whole body dry with the towel and donned a clean shirt, plus our uniform sweatpants. Lastly I put on my varsity jacket.

When I turned back to the guys they all had unhappy looks on them. Hideki and Nobu looked concerned for me. Kaito was still glaring. "You may think I'm just bullshitting you but I'm not, Takao. I had this similar experience with my high school teammates. The two of them were always together and there had been sick rumors surrounding them. The universities they applied for basketball scholarships did not accept them and now they had to settle for other weaker teams. I heard one of them even quit."

I gave Kaito the finger. "Fuck you. All I want is to watch a decent game and you think people would assume we're gay? What's the logic in that?"

"Think about it! Get your head out of your ass and actually think of it! You and Midorima always go out alone. Like – like – you're going on dates. You're from two rival schools! Do you know what I heard from my cousin who's from Todai? They're spreading pictures of you back hugging that guy when you were out shopping last week. Some students caught you, Takao, on camera phones back hugging Midorima and acting all lovey-dovey!"

I gasped.

All the other boys in the room gasped as well.

My mind started processing my memories. Last week. Yes, Shin-chan and I went grocery shopping for his food items after his game. He was standing looking at a stand of packed spices, trying to pick the most suitable one for the curry I promised I would cook for him when I called him to show him something. He didn't budge, even if I called him twice.

I had been behind him that time. Yeah, I remembered coming on to him quietly and tackling him from behind, wrapping my arms around his middle. Midorima gave me a painful noogie which made me yelp but he did not actually pull away, nor remove my arms from around him.

In fact, I even felt his large palm slide up to ruffle the top of my head. I remembered the soft expression on Shin-chan's face as he looked down at me, while my arms were still wrapped around him. Shin-chan was naturally a timid guy and he detested getting physically close to people, save for when he was playing basketball. But over the years he had become extremely comfortable with my skinship with him.

I remembered that I did not let him go as fast as was proper. I continued hugging him and even pressed my face against his back. As far as I knew I was the only person who walked the face of this planet who could get that close to him and not be pummeled to the ground.

Shin-chan had come to tolerate me. He was used to how physically clingy I could be at times.

I didn't know how to interpret it. To onlookers it should only be friendly hugging. Why would people even come to that conclusion? Lots of guys hugged all the time.

Kaito pressed on, "Do you know that my cousin and her girlfriends are going crazy over it? Want to know what they call you these days?"

Hoarsely I asked, "W-what?"

"The Romeo and Juliet of Basketball. The fan girls in Todai are eating it up, Takao. And they see you together all the time. How long do you think you have until rumors start floating around you, too?"

I looked at the other guys. They were all quiet and couldn't meet me in the eye. I felt a hollow pit in my chest as I tried to reason out, "Listen, guys… Whatever you're thinking… That's just plain stupid. We had always been inseparable in high school and no one ever thought dirty things about us."

No one bothered to answer me.

Kaito gently shook his head. "You're one of us now, Takao. All I'm thinking of is your reputation."

"Well, gee, thanks, man. I appreciate your concern," I snapped bitterly. "I'm not fucking queer so you can just shut up and deal. He's my best friend and if I want to hug him then I will!"

I grabbed my bag and stormed outside, fuming mad.

EXOEXOEXOEXOEXOEXOEXOEXOEXO

I bit my nails the whole time. I was just so worried. Had Shin-chan seen those pictures? What would his reaction be if he did?

My mind was occupied by depressing thoughts that even as I sat in the bleachers to watch Shin-chan's match I wasn't aware of the game being played down court.

What would I do if I was outed? Should I quit the basketball team? Should I not meet Shin-chan anymore?

I dropped my face to my palms. Not seeing Shin-chan would be the hardest decision I would have to make in my life. But if that meant sparing Shin-chan the ugly rumors that may come up against me, then I knew I had to do it. I couldn't let Shin-chan suffer through it. It wasn't his fault I was gay. And that I couldn't seem to hide that fact whenever we were together.

I sat there, not really knowing what was going on with the game. When the final buzzer ended the match, proclaiming Todai to be the winner I looked up from my hands scanning the crowd for my best friend. He was panting and sweaty. But he was still clearly the best looking guy out there. My eyes followed his movements, as he and his teammates met the other team at the center of the court and did the customary bow, showing respect for both groups' hard work.

I continued to watch him as he bowed to his fans, as he signed autographs for them and even posed for pictures. Usually by this time I would have been out there congratulating him myself, amidst all his fans, which largely came from Todai of course.

But now I was too afraid to step even within a foot from him. What was I going to do?

I saw Shin-chan scanning the crowd. Hell. He was probably looking for me. I didn't know why but instinctively I ducked my head even lower.

I didn't know how Shin-chan found me, but he did and shouted out my name, as he was still on the court and I was on the upper bleachers. "Takao!"

I cringed and raised my head. I waved a hand.

"We have a post-game meeting. Wait for me!" Shin-chan's clear voice rang out through the court.

I often did not blush. I knew it was beneath me, but today I could feel my cheeks burning. I saw some of his teammates looking at me directly, then whispering to each other. Gosh, were they whispering about me waiting on Shin-chan like a loyal girlfriend would?

How sick was that?

I felt like throwing up.

What I did, I stood, grabbed my bag, and went to search for the Men's room. When I found it I went inside, went into a cubicle and just sat there, willing for my heart to calm down. Why were the Todai boys looking at me like that? This was not the first time they had seen me waiting for Shin-chan after his games. Why did they look shocked about something?

Had they seen the ridiculous pictures?

My knees were bouncing and I couldn't even seem to stop. Why was I hiding here as if I was guilty of doing something wrong? I gave a simple back hug to a close friend of mine and suddenly I was dubbed as Juliet in this brouhaha? Shin-chan and I had always been partners in Shutoku but playing Romeo and Juliet for these twisted people was just too much.

I was still busy contemplating things when I heard the door open and voices rang out. In my state I wasn't able to understand anything anyone was saying outside my cubicle.

But then something caught my attention.

"Have you seen him?"

"Who?"

"The Fag Friend?"

I sat straight on the toilet and leaned forward, putting my ear against the door.

"Fag Friend?"

"Dude, you're getting way too judgmental. Just because they hug…"

"Yeah, and have you seen him play? He's so short but he even fights like crazy with the big guys just to get the ball."

My eyes went wide. Fuck. Seriously. They were talking about me!

"He's gay. I'm betting 110% on it."

I covered my mouth with my hand lest I actually screamed my outrage there inside the cubicle.

"Dude, how can you tell? Unless you're one of them and that's why you know."

Boisterous laughter followed, echoing off the tiled walls. I strained to listen more.

"Shut up, baka. I've been watching that guy. He's been clinging to Midorima too much and I couldn't just understand this weirdness that started to creep me out."

"Dude, they're best friends in high school."

"And have you been listening to me? He's like a beast on the hard court. He could probably injure me if we get into a fist fight."

"And that just proves my point even more!" The voice sounded too overly sure of himself.

"How does that prove it?"

"Yeah, I've seen him play and he can play it rough. But whenever he's with Midorima – guys, you just don't look because you don't care – but I've been studying him. And believe me, he looks at Midorima with such - such – "

"What?"

I held my breath.

"His face kinds of melts whenever he talks to Midorima. And he – what's his name again?"

"Takao, he's their point guard, moron."

"Okay, so this Takao person gets all googly eyed when he looks at our guy. I swear, man. There was this one time when Midorima wasn't looking at him and Takao also probably thought no one else was looking. He just stared at Midorima. Stared for a long time. He – he was looking at Midorima as if he was looking at his next meal. I swear I could see how sexual that look was. And you know what he did last? He licked his lip. Like this. I'll show you. He did it like this."

They all quieted and the guy was probably showing how I had done it.

I was horrified and my whole strength left my body. I didn't know what to do.

The boys began laughing again.

"Eeeeewwww!"

"Gross, man!"

"Yuck, that looked so gay. Don't look at me like that again. Gives me the creeps."

"See? That was how he exactly did it. I kid you not. At first I thought, you know, I was wrong and that they were just too close. But, I mean, c'mon. Where do you draw the line? They're from two rival schools but they go out more than I ever see Midorima go out with anyone else. Midorima never tried to go out with us. And you saw the pictures yourselves. The way he was clinging to Midorima – Did you see how close their faces were to each other? It was like they had a world of their own!"

"So you're saying Mido-kun could probably be gay, too?"

"I dunno, man. I have never felt any weird vibe coming from him."

"Who? Midorima? That guy's as stiff as rock. I wouldn't be surprised if he hadn't discovered yet what he could do with his dick. I mean, he's probably even more asexual than a fungus."

"Naaaah – these are all speculations. I don't believe you, man."

"I'm telling you that Takao is gay. He's closeted. I mean, are you stupid that you would come out when you're playing basketball? That's just way tooooo unthinkable. He better quit first."

"Yuck. A homo in our league."

"C'mon, guys. Coach is prolly looking for us. All this talk of being gay is making me want to throw up."

I didn't know how I had just sat there, listening to them insult me over and over again.

How could I have been that obvious? Did I really look at Shin-chan like that? If that was the case then I never would really be able to hide my feelings any longer. If strangers could judge me at a glance, then I was sure sooner or later Shin-chan would figure it out by himself.

And if he did –

What would I do?

Shit shit shit!

So a lot of people had been noticing this strange closeness that Shin-chan and I had. I supposed it was really weird for two big guys like us to always be together, our bodies almost pressed to close to each other most of the time. Maybe because I was so used to being close to him, I didn't realize how it would look to other people. I had always been liberal with my physical contact with Shin-chan. I could back hug him without any discomfort and during those times when I would casually hug him, he never swatted my arm away.

I dreaded what his reaction would be if he heard these rumors. Would he avoid me from now on? Should I make the first move and stay away from him?

We were both athletes for fuck's sake. A breath of rumor like this was enough to ruin our careers.

Feeling lightheaded I continued sitting there on the toilet. For how long I did not know. I felt my phone vibrate from inside my pocket. I took it out and read the message.

It was Shin-chan. _"Where are you?"_

Panic suddenly set in. I didn't know how to face him right now. Maybe it would be better if I text him and tell him I suddenly had an upset stomach and that I had to go home. Yeah, that could work. My mind was so jumbled right now I didn't know how I would act before him.

I only got to type the first word of my text message when the phone suddenly rang. Startled I almost dropped it to the floor.

Shin-chan was calling me. Talk about being fucked to the highest level. Taking a deep breath, I answered the call. "Yo."

"I've been waiting for ten minutes now. Where the hell are you?"

Ouch. He was already yelling at me. "Uhhmm, I – uhh – Hey, look, I wanna ask something."

"What?"

I wanted to ask about the pictures. But I didn't have the courage to just ask it over the phone. "No, it's okay. I'm here in the men's room. I just had an upset stomach. I'll be coming back out. I'll ask you personally."

"Alright. I also want to tell you something."

I gasped," What is it?"

"Get over here and I'll tell you myself," he demanded. "I'll hang up now."

This was it. He was probably going to bitch at me for those stupid pictures circulating in his school.

But I had to face him sooner or later. Rumors were just basically rumors. They could spread gossip however far and wide they wanted and as long as there was no actual evidence of my sexuality, they wouldn't be able to completely prove anything.

I decided to go out of my safe haven to meet reality head on.

EXOEXOEXOEXOEXOEXOEXO

Thanks for following you cutie pies. Saranghe!


	5. Chapter 5

**Magnetize**

Currently listening to:** Heart Attack **by** EXO**

Love these boys to death.

xxx

EXOEXOEXOEXOEXOEXO

As usual Midorima was glaring at me. He always hated tardiness. His arms were crossed on his chest and he looked mightily pissed.

All I could do was scratch my head. "Where are your teammates?"

"They were going to sing in a karaoke bar."

"Did they give you a hard time because you're not going with them?" I asked. Wow. Story of my life.

He shrugged. "Do I look as if I care?"

"Moron. They're your teammates, too, you know. Did you tell them you're coming with me?" I asked, sounding paranoid.

For the first time Shin-chan looked at me as if I was speaking in German. "Since when has it become my hobby to broadcast my itinerary to everyone? I told them I was doing something else."

"You know, you should go out with your teammates more."

He snorted. "You know how I feel about crowds. Besides, I told you I was going to tell you something."

I braced myself for the worst. "What is it?"

Midorima adjusted his glasses and picked up his bag. "I'll tell you when we get to my room. I need to shower."

My eyes nearly jumped out of their sockets. I was totally shocked. This was the first time Shin-chan invited me to his room. A room that he shared with a sempai of his.

"What about Otani-sempai?" I asked breathlessly.

"He is on a trip with his class. A project. He won't be back for two days."

I gulped. That meant we would be alone in his room.

"Hurry up, will you? I feel sticky!" he grumbled, walking ahead of me.

I stumbled behind him, casually wiping my sweaty face with my hand. I kept on looking around, paranoid that others watched us with interest. This was the first time that I walked so far from him. The dorms were not too far from the Todai stadium where today's game was held.

If Shin-chan noticed anything I did differently, he didn't mention it. We were quiet until we got into his room. It was a little bigger than mine and Gorou's, and more orderly. Of course. Shin-chan was a neat freak.

"I really need to shower first. Just drink whatever you want." Shin-chan went to his drawers to get clean clothes, put his glasses down and headed to the bathroom. I was left there, still unsure of what to do for the future. This friendship I had with Shin-chan seemed innocent enough for me. I mean, aside from the occasional hugging, we never behaved inappropriately towards each other. So why were people suddenly thinking gay things about us?

Because of the swirling thoughts in my mind I lost track of time. Shin-chan came out of the bathroom in a clean shirt and drawstring pants, toweling his hair dry. Believe me, I tried hard not to look how his muscles clung to his thin white shirt, but my eyes betrayed me. I sat there, the horrible thoughts put aside in an instant and watched him as he moved around the room. I would never get tired of looking at him.

Shin-chan went to the corner of the room to their mini-ref. He looked back at me and asked, "I told you you can drink what you like."

Shaking my head, I tried to tear my eyes off of him, "No, it's okay. I don't want anything."

He shrugged, took a Pocari from the tiny ref and put his glasses back on. He sat on the other bed facing me, opening his Pocari and drinking. But his intense green eyes never left me. He was really looking at me, his sharp gaze making me more nervous than I already was.

My forehead wrinkled as I looked back at him questioningly. "What?"

This was the first time I had seen Shin-chan so… so anxious about something. He seemed restless. I was sure it was about those damn stupid pictures of us hugging. He was probably finding words to tell me we shouldn't see each other much anymore because people were getting the wrong impression.

And believe me, I agreed wholeheartedly with him. It would suck but if Shin-chan requested that we stopped seeing each other I would be fine with it. I would deal.

The suspense was killing me. And with him looking so distressed didn't help either. I decided to come clean first. "Look, Shin-chan… I know you're weirded out. I mean, I am, too. Before anything else, man, I want to tell you, it's nothing, okay? You shouldn't listen to what people are – are – saying… I, for one, don't think –"

He cleared his throat loudly to interrupt me. I paused. "Excuse me?" he asked.

"Huh?" My mouth hung open in mid-sentence.

"What the hell are you saying, idiot?" he said.

I pulled back and scratched my nose. "Uhhhm… I know what you were trying to tell me."

"You do? I'm not sure we're on the same page here. As far as I know only my coach and I know I'm being scouted to play for NCAA."

My eyes widened.

Out of all the words he said only NCAA registered.

As in the National Collegiate Athletic Association in the US?

Because of my utter shock I was not able to react for a few seconds. I sat there gaping at Shin-chan, half relieved that it wasn't about the rumors, but tremendously horrified about the fact that there was a possibility of him going away from Tokyo, no, from Japan to play in another country.

I didn't know how my reaction looked like to Shin-chan. But at that moment, as the initial shock wore off, and realization set in, I thought USA was damn too far from Japan. How would I be able to watch his games? I didn't have TV or cable in my room. How would I subscribe to ESPN?

How the fuck was I going to see him again?

"Takao," he called out, cutting off my musings. "Does this – displease you, nanodayo?"

His green eyes expressed worry. He was actually looking worried for me. I shook my head, licking my dry lips. "N-no… Dang, man, I was – you caught me off guard. I – you – NCAA? Wow, I mean… Wow!"

He was frowning, scrutinizing me. "What were you saying a while ago about knowing what I was supposed to say?"

I vehemently shook my head. "N-nothing. Don't mind it."

Scowling, Shin-chan's glare became even darker. He didn't believe me. "Alright. So what do you say? Should I think about the offer or not?"

"Me? Are you asking me?" I was incredulous that he would ask for my opinion.

Midorima took a gulp of his energy drink. I tried not to think how sexily his adam's apple bobbed as he drank the water. Damn, I was so lame. He casually wiped his mouth on his clothed shoulder. Ugh, so manly.

"Should I go?" he asked, his tone serious.

Honestly I could just tell him all the disadvantages of going to America, like he didn't speak English well, or that he would probably experience racial discrimination there, or that he may not complete his Medicine course if he had to move schools. But at the end of the day, I knew, because I was an athlete myself, that this was the best opportunity for him to level up his game and possibly play for NBA. It was NBA, every basketball player's dream to play in.

Why would I be selfish to discourage him from reaching his dreams? This was the most awesome player in Japan methinks. The whole world had the right to see him play.

Forcing a smile, I tried to look cheerful. "You should think about it. It could be the start of your professional career."

"Hmmm, I never really thought I would be able to play basketball after college." he mused, looking pensive as he rubbed his jaw.

I nodded. "Yeah. You know basketball is not that popular here in Japan. Even if you get to the national team, the most conferences you'll play in are just minor compared to American professional tournaments. And knowing you, NBA is definitely just a stone's throw away. They only have to see you jump and I bet every team in the States would come chasing after you."

Shin-chan glanced at me, cringed and glanced away again. A faint darkening of his cheeks caught me by surprise. He looked uncomfortable all of a sudden. "You have ridiculously high thoughts of me. Will you be realistic?" he grumbled.

In a way, I liked seeing Shin-chan be flustered because of my praises. In normal circumstances I would have teased him more. But right now, as my heart broke over the news of me possibly not seeing him ever again, I just couldn't crack up my usual jokes. "I think there's no other better opportunity than this, man."

"So I should go for it?"

"Any other guy wouldn't have gotten second thoughts about it."

Shin-chan straightened on his seat. "I see."

After that he did not speak for a long time, seemingly weighing his decisions. He stared at the can of Pocari he held, lost in thoughts.

I sighed heavily, too depressed for words. I stood and went to the fridge. I suddenly wanted a drink. When I opened it, lo and behold I saw several cans of beer there. I exclaimed, "Dude! Are you drinking?" Of course the legal age to drink alcohol in Japan is twenty, and Shin-chan would only turn eighteen this coming July seventh.

Shin-chan waved a hand. "Those are sempai's. Don't drink them."

Maybe it was because I felt this deep sense of frustration that I wanted to rebel against common rules. To hell with legal aged drinking. Right now I wanted to stuff myself with something, anything, just to numb this ache seeping into every fiber of my being. I grabbed one can of beer and opened it, drinking a large quantity of it in one swallow.

"Idiot! You're not supposed to drink that!" bellowed Shin-chan as he stood over me, trying to get the can away.

I pushed at his chest. "Relax, will you? Who else is here to rat me out? You?" I challenged him, scowling.

"What's your problem?" Shin-chan snapped.

_YOU!_ I wanted to yell out. _You are my fucking problem because I love you so much and you'll leave me. Just like that._

But heaven knew I could only seethe inside. I stepped away from him, drinking the beer again and wincing at the bad taste of it. Eeew. How could people be addicted to this horrible stuff?

"What's with you? Why are you drinking that?"

I pretended that the horrible bitterness in my mouth did not affect me one bit as I continued to guzzle down the alcoholic beverage. I sat on his bed with a loud plop, looking at anywhere but at him. Shock, grief, anger, a sense of betrayal… All of these emotions swirled in my mind and I felt like drowning in them. I needed to find a focal point. I stared at my rubber shoes.

"So that's it, huh? You'll be leaving for the States. When will that be?" I asked, wiping the drizzle of beer at the corner of my mouth.

Shin-can sat by his study table, warily watching me. "I haven't even accepted the offer yet."

"But it'll come to that eventually," I insisted.

"Who knows? No one can tell until it finally happens."

"But do you want to?" I asked, my voice getting an octave higher.

He merely shrugged. For the first time, I was beginning to get pissed at his nonchalant and cold attitude. Why couldn't I get decent answers from this bastard?

"Well, you should decide soon!" I barked.

Shin-chan frowned deeply, crossing his arms. "Why do you sound so upset?"

I almost laughed at his face. Me? Upset? Whoa, really? Upset was not even a word that could describe how I felt.

This dense insensitive asshole!

I raised the can of beer to my mouth, only to find out it was already empty. I threw it on the trash bin and opened the mini fridge to get another one. Shin-chan yelled angrily, "What the hell, Takao? That's the second one!"

I snorted, opening the can. "I know. I learned math in school."

Midorima finally stood and walked towards me, threatening to get the can again. I easily avoided him and sat on the bed, gulping down the beer as hard as I could, not minding the bitterness or the sting on my throat.

All I wanted was to drink myself to oblivion. Then maybe tomorrow I would forget about how things stood between us.

Me, gay. Him, leaving.

Fuck this.

"Fine!" Shin-chan spat, sitting down on his chair again. "Do what you want. I'll buy us dinner. What do you want? There's a small store downstairs where I can buy home cooked meals."

When he mentioned about food, it was only then that I remembered I had not eaten anything since lunch. I was supposed to be starving.

I emptied the second can. I sat there on the bed for so long, unmoving. Even Shin-chan was also quiet. Whether he was waiting for me to answer his question or whether he was still thinking about the NCAA I didn't know.

Silence was our companion in the room.

I was feeling dizzy all of a sudden.

The room seemed to be spinning. I fell sideward on the bed but did not completely fall down. I forced myself to sit straight.

"You idiot!" Shin-chan growled. "Now you look drunk."

I laughed haughtily, trying to focus my eyes on the Shin-chan that was speaking. There seemed to be two of them. "Don't be stupid. I'm not drunk."

"You've never drunk alcohol before. How would you know?"

"And how would you know either?" I answered back.

"Anyone with a pair of eyes can see that you are," Shin-chan argued.

I didn't know why it sounded funny to me but I laughed so hard. "Oh yeah. And you have Four Eyes!"

Shin-chan rolled his eyes. "Idiot lightweight."

It hurt so bad to laugh so I had to stop. My throat felt dry but I wasn't thirsty. I just wanted to lie down. So I did, spreading out on his bed. I knew it was his bed even though he hadn't told me yet. I could smell his scent coming from the pillows.

I burrowed deeper onto the pillows and sniffed. I groaned. I was actually lying on Shin-chan's bed.

I heard a deep long sigh from the other side of the room and Shin-chan stood, telling me, "I'll buy us some food. Just lie down. You'll feel better soon."

I looked up at his face looming over me. He had the most solemn expression. He made an attempt to pat my head but at the last second he withdrew his hand, as if he was not sure if touching me was a good thing or a bad thing.

He straightened and was about to walk away when I whispered. "Please…"

He turned down to me. "Hmm?"

I forced myself to sit up. "Shin-chan…" I managed to say but it came out as a whine. To my own ears it even sounded pathetic.

His voice was gentler when he asked, "What is it?"

"Please – please don't leave…" I whimpered, looking straight at his eyes.

He looked puzzled. "I'm just going downstairs."

"Please. Don't go. Please."

I didn't know what kind of look I had on my face but what it was made his own harden. He looked away, his expression guarded. "You're drunk. Let's talk again once you sober up."

"NO!" I lashed out. "I'm not fucking d-drunk. Please don't go to the States, man. Stay here. Stay with me. Please." Was I babbling?

Dear heavens I was babbling but I couldn't seem to stop.

Shin-chan made a move to back away. I panicked and in my state I was afraid that he'd leave. I dove for him, grabbing him by the front of his shirt.

"Takao – what the fuck – "

"Shit, I don't know how – I don't know how I'll make it without you. Please… Don't leave me. I love you so much!"

At that time, that was the most natural thing to say.

Shin-chan seemed to recoil in horror above me. But I didn't care. I did not stop. I grabbed both sides of his face and pulled him down. "I can't do it. I can't… Without you, I can't…" I chanted over and over again.

I heard a gasp.

At the same time I felt hot flesh against my mouth.

I had pulled his face down and was now kissing him with all the force I could muster.

For a second…

For a second I thought he was moving against my lips, kissing me back…

But at the next instant I felt the world move upside down and my back landed on the bed. I turned to Shin-chan, who had the most horrified expression on his face, wiping at his mouth.

The anger on his eyes was enough to sober me up. It was the first time I had seen him this mad. And his hate was definitely directed at me.

"Shi-Shin-chan…" I croaked, my voice broken.

This time Shin-chan indeed backed away from me, acting as if he couldn't get far enough. I scrambled to get my act together, sitting up. I still felt dizzy but the gravity of what I did and said finally dawned on me.

I kissed my best friend!

He knew I was gay. My secret was out. I couldn't even protect him from myself!

"I'm sorry! Shin-chan, man, I'm sorry! I'm sorry…"

When he spoke it was eerily clear, as he had not been shocked by what happened. Only unforgiving and angry. "This will ruin us. Me."

"I'm so sorry, Shin-chan…"

"No. Let me finish. If you can hear me, understand this. I want to play basketball. It is all that I have ever known. I will not let anything ruin my chance to play basketball, Takao. Not even you."

Those were probably the cruelest coldest words I had heard coming from Shin-chan. And it was ironic, because he was only telling the truth.

I scrambled to get up and headed for the bathroom. I opened the faucet and let the running water rain on my face. I wanted to cry and but the shock hadn't worn off yet. I actually confessed to Shin-chan and kissed him.

I confessed my deepest darkest secret and he just rejected me.

And we would probably never be friends again.

I couldn't remember hating myself more than right at that moment.

When I felt a little better and less dizzy, I took off my jacket to dry off my wet face and hair. It would be difficult but I had to get back to my own room.

When I got back out I almost stumbled in a hurry to get my bag. I didn't look at him. In my shame I couldn't face his horror at what he had learned about me.

I had to leave.

"Takao. Just lie down for a bit. You are still drunk," Shin-chan said ordered from his corner.

That was when I felt the tears. Damn him. Still trying to be nice to me even though he was disgusted by what I was.

I wished he was just the most evil person in the world so that it'd be easier for him to forget him.

I shook my head, grabbed my bag and forcefully opened the door.

"Takao!" Shin-chan called. "Wait!"

I ran even faster.

Fucking shit, how could I have been that stupid?

I would never be able to face him again.

EXOEXOEXOEXOEXOEXOEXOEXO

So.

Yeah.

Sad.

:c


	6. Chapter 6

**Magnetize**

Doing this in the middle of my work. Hehe. Even I can't wait to finish it. I already finished the synopsis so the ending is already definite. So that means I will be able to update as soon as I am able, since there is already a fixed ending. Hehe. Thanks for all the faves and follows. Love you boys and girls!

xxx

The moment I stepped inside my room, I heaved, feeling sick to my bones. So far I had held off in puking on my entire way on the train. I took a cab to my dorms, even though it was only a ten minute walk from Minami-Osawa station.

I couldn't help it anymore. I ran to the bathroom to vomit my insides out. I didn't even notice that Gorou was there. It was only when I heard his worried voice that I realized he was there in the bedroom. "Takao-kun? What happened? Are you alright?"

I kicked the bathroom door shut with my foot as I knelt by the toilet. After I had calmed down from vomiting I answered in a weak voice. "I'm okay. I just got dizzy."

"I was just on my way out to buy something from the store. Do you need me to buy you anything?" he asked kindly.

"I think I'm out of Pocari. Can you buy me a few cans?"

"Okay. Are you sure you'll be fine if I leave now?"

"Yeah. I just got dizzy on my way home. I'm fine."

"Alright. I'll see you later."

I heard the front door open and close. When I felt a little better I began stripping. I just had a game and needed to shower. Maybe taking a bath would vastly improve my condition.

It turned out that it did. After a few minutes of showering I wandered to the bedroom to find clean clothes. Gorou and I did not have a fridge, and we couldn't drink tap water so we had a generous stock of mineral water. After finishing two glasses, I felt truly better.

How lame was I that I would get a hangover like this from two cans of beer?

Groaning, I lay on my bed, hoping to catch a quick nap. I was still hungry and I may go out later to buy my dinner. But now I needed to sleep.

Actually I needed to forget.

I needed to get this disastrous day out of my mind. I thought the rumors of me being gay would be the worst that could happen to me. But no. At this point I didn't care about them. The more pressing issues were Midorima leaving for America and the fact that I just confessed my feelings to him. Which he flatly rejected. Ripped out my heart from my chest and trampled hard on it. Well, I guess in the first place it was stupid of me to expect otherwise. What? That Shin-chan would say I love you back? What had I been thinking?

But maybe in a sense… Maybe this was all for the better. I wouldn't have to pretend all this time that I was just a platonic friend when in fact I actually masturbated while fantasizing about him. The burden of hiding and hiding my feelings from him had been lifted off my shoulder.

Yes, I might lose his friendship, but for me, the strain of hiding a secret this big had been too draining in the first place. If Shin-chan and I would never hang out with each other anymore, maybe I would be able to focus on other things.

I had to admit that I had my own life. Falling in love with a hetero would never lead to anything fulfilling. This time, I resolutely told myself it was time to let him go. He had made me happy for three years. Perhaps that was enough.

Yeah, I had to move on.

I reached inside my jacket to get my phone. I needed to check the time and maybe set an alarm so I could still wake up later before the curfew and buy my dinner. I forgot to tell Gorou to buy it for me.

When the light on my phone screen turned on I gasped. There were five missed calls there. And three messages.

My heart was hammering inside my chest.

I checked the missed calls. _Shin-chan?!_

What did he want? Since he was the straight best friend who got confessed to by the other gay best friend, shouldn't he want some space from me? Because heaven knew I needed some right now. I did not want to see, him, talk to him or hear anything about him.

Because it just hurt to dwell on something that I knew was hopeless from the beginning. And I understood! Of all the people in this same type of dilemma I understood that being gay would never be accepted in the world of sports. There had been gay players, yes, but they were being tolerated, or ignored, or worse, people talked shit behind their back. So if Shin-chan would associate with me, even as a friend, if rumors continued to haunt us, in the future we might even hate each other more because of the pressure.

Didn't he know this was the best time for us to just – stop talking to each other?

My trembling fingers fiddled with my phone to erase the call log. I jumped when it vibrated again, with Shin-chan's name on the screen. That asshole! Wasn't it enough that I had been humiliated like this? Couldn't he just allow me to wallow in my misery without adding to the insult?

What could he possibly want from me?

Taking in a long deep breath, I answered the call. "Hello."

"Takao."

I cleared my throat. "What do you want?"

"Are you able to get to your dorm?"

"Shin-chan – what do you – " My voice had raised to a shout before I even realized it. I tried to calm myself down. "Man, c'mon, what else do you want to tell me? You've made your point, okay? I get it and I respect it."

At first he did not answer. All I could hear was his heavy breathing.

"Man, just – please… I'm sorry, Shin-chan. I'm really sorry. If I could take back what I did – "

This time he said tightly. "You were just drunk."

I sat up, perplexed. "What?"

"I said you were just drunk that's why you did that."

I wanted to laugh. I wanted to storm back there in his room and smack the back of his head with my phone. And he sounded so sure of himself as he spoke. "I was drunk, yeah. And I am gay, Shin-chan. I believe I already told you."

"No, you're not!" he retorted viciously.

"What?"

"Listen, Takao. I don't want things to change between us."

Oh.

Wow.

Statement of the year, everybody.

I didn't know if anything else would bother to shock me in the future, even if they told me Kobe Bryant was gay.

"I don't understand," I admitted.

"Why should we change? We have worked with each other really well in the past. We are friends. I do not want to lose you."

"Don't you get it, idiot?" I roared, standing up and feeling pissed. "I am fucking gay!"

"I am not asking you to change that part of yourself for me," he snapped.

"The fuck? Are you stupid, Shin-chan? Are you really this dense? I'm gay! I like you! No, wait. I believe I am in love with you and you want me to keep on pretending that I don't feel any of it and keep on following you to your games as if I'm your biggest sidekick. No, wait, again. I am your only side kick. Well, let me tell you. I am sick of it. I am sick of – of pretending about being someone I'm not! I love you for fuck's sake and if I cannot have you I'd rather not be your friend at all!"

"So that's it? You'd rather not be a friend to me just because you selfishly want something from me that I cannot give?" His voice had turned cold.

"What do you expect from me, huh? Hug you like I'm your brother or something if you win the championship when all I've ever wanted all this time is to get you to bed and screw you?! Do you get that? Will you still want a friend like that, huh?"

I knew I was getting too far but I didn't care. I was mad at myself. And I was mad at him for being someone who could not be mine.

I knew he was dismayed, and if that sharp intake of his breath was any indication, I'd say he was tremendously appalled by my outburst.

"No, Takao. I believe I don't. I think you're right. Maybe this will not work out. I'll see you around. Bye."

Click.

And just like that he hung up on me.

I fell on my bed, suddenly dizzy again from the effort and anger I had exhausted from my body.

That stupid jerk. Asking the impossible from me.

Asking me to stay by his side as a friend when he perfectly knew how I felt about him. It would have been more natural if he avoided me like a normal guy would do.

But no. It wouldn't be Shin-chan if he was predictable.

Shin-chan would always be special. And I was the only person who could understand him in the past. But now, I didn't think I did.

All or nothing. It was all or nothing for us. There could never be any middle ground.

Oooooo0o0o0oooooo0000ooooo00oo0o0

So. Just a little lover's quarrel between the two. I wanted to make it longer but the next chapter would have a different focus and I'm really sorry. I'm so tired right now so this is all that I could do for now. Thank you for understanding.


	7. Chapter 7

**Magnetize**

I'm back. Hehehe.

xxx000o0o00o0o0o0000ooo00xxx

The next day, I went to practice with a heavy heart, my thoughts jumbled into a crazy mess. Shin-chan and I just had a big falling out. Until now, I still didn't know how to deal with the situation.

I wanted to be with him with every inch of my fiber. But he was suggesting that we continue a platonic relationship. So every time we met, what, I had to swallow down this big lump of hormonal imbalance my body was producing in order to _normally_ interact with him? Okay, I get that he was straight, and that he didn't mind me being gay. We had been friends for a long time for him to mind it, I guess.

But it was totally impossible for me to pretend he was just another guy who played basketball. I got erect every time I saw him, or hear his deep breath, or watch his fascinating hands. There was no way, now that he knew how I felt, that I wouldn't be self-conscious every time we were together.

My teammates were already doing free plays when I got to the gym. I felt their attention center on me, but at this point I just didn't care anymore. Let them think whatever they wanted to. All I wanted was just to play basketball to release all the tensions inside me.

I sat on the bench and took out my rubber shoes from my bag, to replace the sneakers I had on. As I was preparing myself to start practice Nobu sat beside me. "Hey, how's it going? We had a lot of fun yesterday. I wish you could've come."

I gave him a small smile. "Yeah. Next time."

Hideki sat on my other side. "Since you weren't there yesterday, you didn't hear the good news."

"What good news?" I asked.

"Our rubber shoes sponsor will finally grant us the new pairs that they promised us. I mean, we can shop for the shoes that we want and put the bill on their tab."

Wow. That indeed was great news. I really had been waiting for this. "Cool! That's awesome. When are we shopping?"

Nobu looked pensive for a moment. "Well, since our schedule's full this week, I guess the only day we're free to buy new shoes is tomorrow."

"Yeah, tomorrow, after practice," Hideki agreed.

This news was really the best I had heard in quite some time. My smile was genuine as I shared their excitement. "Great! Can't wait!"

Nobu and Hideki looked at each other at the same time then back at me. "You sure you'll come with us tomorrow?" Nobu dubiously asked.

"No hard feelings?" Hideki seconded.

I frowned at them, trying to figure out what they were getting at. Then it dawned on me. Oh yeah. Todai would have a match tomorrow. They expected me to bail out again and just shop for my shoes some other time to watch my best friend's game. I gave a small shake of my head and straightened on my seat, stretching my legs. "I'll go with you."

"Really now?" Nobu asked incredulously.

"Yeah, doofus, why not?" I snapped, slapping his shoulder.

"But won't Shin-chan be mad if you're not there to watch his game?" Hideki teased in a nasally whiny voice. He was just trying to be funny, I knew and I didn't become upset at his joke.

I simply shrugged. "He's a big boy. It's fine if I'm not there to watch him."

Nobu suddenly cackled. "Did you two have a spat or something?"

Snorting, I stood and began my stretching routines. "Assholes," I barked at the two of them. Both of them looked gleeful as they studied me over. I knew they didn't mean anything by their jokes. They were two of my closest friends in the team. And instead of shying away from the issue every time they talked to me about it, they just made light of the situation. Which was better because to them, my friendship with Shin-chan was nothing but a close brotherly bond that they respected.

I valued my friendship with Nobu and Hideki. Even when others talked about my unnatural bromance with Shin-chan, they remained neutral.

Kaito suddenly walked over to us to get his bottled water from his bag. He was really huge at six foot six. And he was the most rigorous when it came to physical training. Woe to anyone who actually incited his ire. I didn't hate the guy, but I was always wary of him. He could also be arrogant at times.

"Hey, Kaito! You won't believe what Takao said! He's coming with us tomorrow to buy new shoes."

I winced. Did this idiotic Nobu really have to announce it like it was some six o' clock breaking news? My self-consciousness rose to new heights.

Kaito looked me over and cocked his head. "Doesn't Todai have a game tomorrow?"

I rolled my eyes heavenward. Couldn't these idiots stop mentioning Todai every five seconds in my presence?

"I'm coming. Stop making a big deal out of it!" I snapped at all of them.

"Sure!" Nobu and Hideki replied in unison, snickering. I swear if I had a ball I would have done a blind pass to wipe those smirks off their faces.

When I looked at Kaito, the giant simply nodded at me. "It's about damn time you associate with us, Rook."

I shrugged cooly. "Stop being dramatic, you dork," I answered.

That made Kaito grin and hurled his towel at me. "Okay, cut the small talk. Cap's calling us. Let's start our practice."

I nodded my head and ran towards the center of the court, followed by the three boys.

The next day, as the team was out shopping, everybody looked excited like ten year olds who were opening their birthday presents. I couldn't help it myself. I was getting new rubber shoes!

I spent a lot of time looking for the colors that I liked. Sometimes I would try on a pair and my teammates would tease me for having such bad tastes. So I would try on other ones.

But even as I was trying on pairs after pairs of new shoes, I would space out time and time again, wondering what was happening in Shin-chan's game. Well, their team was really a formidable one. I was sure they would win again today.

This was the first time I was missing a game of his, or rather the first time I wouldn't see Shin-chan play, since I was with him every freaking single match in high school. And even before that I used to watch all his games when he was still in Teiko. Something about me not watching a game of his was some sort of a finality, like a judgment in court that was passed on us. I guess this was really it. Our friendship was over.

All of us boys were able to get the rubber shoes that we wanted, and we decided to eat in McDonald's before heading home. Since there were thirteen of us, all male and noisy, we occupied a large space at the back, joking and laughing until some of the other older customers glared at us for being so loud.

It was the first time I had really eaten out with my team. And I could say it was a lot of fun. The bromance jokes ceased for a moment. I think they were a bit appreciative that finally I went out with them so they did not want to make me feel upset about not being able to watch Todai's game.

I was busily watching some of my idiotic teammates make fools of themselves as they shared dirty jokes after another when Hideki made a move to get his phone from his pocket. I glanced at him, uncaring. I was listening intently at the stories my teammates were sharing.

"Oh wow," Hideki suddenly said. No one paid him attention. "Hey, guys, listen…" He tried to call us but still, no one paid him any heed.

"Guys, cut it out for a sec. My friend from Keio U texted me. He said their team won in today's game," Hideki announced in a loud voice.

My head snapped up to his direction. Keio University? That was Todai's opponent today. Which meant… Shin-chan's team lost?

I was paralyzed by the news at first. It meant Todai's first loss. So their ranking dropped to 5 wins and 1 loss.

Some of the boys even looked over Hideki's shoulders to check out the text message.

Then, as if in some cheap movie's climatic scene, everyone turned their heads at me. I wanted to kick each and every one of them. Instead, I drank my soda indifferently.

Hideki received another text. He began reading each of Todai's member's score. Usually, if it wasn't Shin-chan who was the highest scorer, he would be on the second spot. But Hideki read all of the stats and according to the numbers, Shin-chan only scored five points.

"Five points?" Nobu exclaimed. "He averages thirty each game! Now he scored five points!?"

Again, all of them turned to me.

This time I scowled. "Watcha lookin' at?"

"Why are you still here? Aren't you supposed to get over there and comfort him?" one guy asked.

I gave him the finger. "I'm not his freaking mother."

"Whoa, so the best friend suddenly is the not so best friend anymore," Hideki teased good-naturedly. "Did you guys fight or something?"

I sat back and played with the straw of my soda. "Why are we making a big deal outta this? They lose, so what? They're not invincible, you know."

"So what could be Shin-chan's problem? Five points?" another player asked.

"Why not? He's only human," I retorted.

Since Nobu was a fan of Shin-chan's he knew my best friend's stats. "Uh, he hasn't scored that low since Junior high. In fact the lowest score he has had in his career is ten points."

I gave him a disgruntled look. "Now you sound like a fanboy."

Nobu shrugged. "Just stating his stats, man. I never thought the day would come that he would not deliver, you know. This is pretty big."

I didn't bother to answer. In the first place I didn't have any clue why Shin-chan played that bad on this game. It was too stupid to think that the reason behind it was the conflict between us. Of all the people I knew, Shin-chan was the calmest in any stressful situation. He exuded a commanding take charge aura all the time. But he was still human. People could have _off_ days.

It was just normal. Why would he be any different?

Jeeze, I hoped I wasn't the cause of this. I wouldn't want to mess up his game by distracting him. Especially now that he had an offer to play for NCAA. I truly wished this would not affect that chance.

I sighed heavily, feeling gloomy all of a sudden. I should go there and ask him what happened. But that was preposterous. We both needed some space between us. Things were just not the same. It wouldn't be easy for me to come over and comfort him like I used to. The lines had already been drawn. Boundaries had been erected.

I just couldn't cross those lines.

Hideki nudged me with his foot. "Sure you don't want to go over there, man?"

I looked at all my teammates.

They were expecting me to say something.

I shook my head, took my shopping bag and gym bag, and stood. "I wanna go back to the dorms. Stop being drama queens, would you?"

Without waiting for their answer, I walked away from McDonald's, hoping my sadness did not show too much on my face.

xxxOoo0oo00o0oo00000ooo000o0xxx

I'm almost to the confession part. I'm getting excited myself. I just want to give a little disclaimer. Since this is anime fandom, we can't expect MidoTaka to expect like a perfectly normal couple would, right?

So, the confession part between them would be kinda crazy and funny.

Thanks for following. Ai shiteru, minna-san! Arigato gozaimashita!


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